DO You Need a Relationship DETOX?
I am SERIOUS about my friendships. Very serious. I’ve had the same amazing girlfriends and beautiful relationships for over 20 years. To me, my relationships are my wealth. They are my joy. They are my refuge, and yet at times, they have also been my greatest source of PAIN. I reflect upon a time that a very close friendship of mine changed. You see, I don’t believe relationships END, but they most certainly do change! This relationship was very dear to my heart, and yet I could feel it shifting, accommodating new growth, new vision and my own expanded sense of self and worth. We will all experience this familiar crossroad in life, where it really is time to let go and move on.
Now, I don’t believe in intolerance and “cutting folks off” for simple irritations or the normal challenges that most relationships face. Solid relationships are far too valuable and genuine friendships are truly worthy of nurturing, healing and protecting. I do however believe that we must be discerning of these changing times. It is imperative to be CLEAR when it is in fact time to move on from a relationship in order to honor our hearts and life’s calling. Every new beginning follows a necessary ending.
Relationships— The “STUFF” of life
Out of all of the experiences we have in life, NOTHING impacts our happiness, joy and emotional well-being like our personal relationships. As a wholeness-coach, when I sit and listen to the truth surrounding the pain of a person’s heart, it will eventually go back to a relationship. Relationships shape our world-view, our self-concept, our financial status and our belief systems. Relationships touch the very core of our existence. Nurturing healthy, life-giving relationships and letting go of unhealthy ones is imperative to our social and emotional growth and our spiritual well-being.
Relationships are TEACHERS:
There is a quote that states: No man is your lover or your enemy, but every man is your teacher. Often times when our soul-lesson is over, the relationship will change. As human’s beings, we resist change. We naturally associate change with loss and uncertainty. So we cling to the old and familiar often times through false-guilt, or a sense of duty/obligation. The people in our lives are so deeply tied to our God-ordained destiny that lingering longer than wisdom allows can not only be harmful to our psyche but also to our personal growth and soul-purpose.
Seasons change and so do relationships.
We really can outgrow certain mentalities, certain habits and certain people! If you’re seeking NEW blessings, new growth and NEW opportunities in your life, you may be called to let go of old, limiting, unhealthy relationships.
We often ask God for BIG, new things, yet remain small in our ability to leave our relational comfort zone. Blessings, lessons, opportunities and life flow through relationships. We must be willing to release what is not longer healthy or conducive to NEW growth in order to live in authentic wholeness and personal power.
Trust yourself. You know when a relationship has reached an unhealthy pattern that no longer serves you or God’s highest good for your life.
Relationship DETOX – Body DETOX
Just as there are unhealthy foods that burden the body and create disease, there are unhealthy mentalities that kill the potential of healthy relationships. Just as our bodies need periodic rest and detox, so do our lives in the realm of relationships.
Relationship DETOX Questions:
*Are you hanging around people for the sake of comfort and convenience even though you KNOW you’ve outgrown them?
* Are you compromising your values, self-worth or future vision by remaining in stale, stagnant or even negative relationships?
* Have you found yourself allowing the negativity of others to influence your heart and mind in a way that is not an accurate reflection of who you are or who you are called to be?
* Do the people in your life represent where your life is headed or only the familiar, old patterns of where you’ve already been?
* Are you stuck in a relationship where the bad has started to outweigh the good?
*Are you stuck in co-dependency, false-guilt or emotional dysfunction in a relationship?
If you answered “yes” to one or more of these questions, it’s time to pause and reflect. When we find the courage and power to release the old, we make room for the new.
Are you ready to clear your head space , clean your soul and detox your heart and mind in order to welcome healthy, life-giving love and relationships?
I’ve put together a complimentary BONUS AUDIO training called – RELATIONSHIP RICH – CLICK here to download it NOW absolutely free.
This training will help you not only learn the patterns of unhealthy relationships, but it will prepare your heart and mind to receive BETTER, more fulfilling relationships.
That old, negative relationship energy is no longer an accurate reflection of where your life is headed, it’s time to move on, it’s time to let go. I know it’s hard– letting go of a relationship, even a toxic one can feel like death, but new LIFE is waiting.
I believe this Relationship RICH teaching will bring restoration and soul-level confidence to your heart and mind and soul.
Please feel free to share your thoughts and feedback with me, and I look forward to being Relationship RICH with you!
It’s time to release the old, it’s time to emotionally DETOX and purge what no longer serves us. New life is waiting. New DYNAMIC relationships and friendships are waiting.
Let God’s love and wisdom lead…
AGAIN to download this bonus training CLICK HERE:RELATIONSHIP RICH – CLICK here to download it NOW absolutely free.
Blessings and much love,
I’ll admit that these past few days I’ve been sad, I mean really sad. I’m not sure if it was the absolute shock of learning that Robin Williams had passed, or finding out the way he chose to leave this expression of life. I imagined the pain and anguish it must take for a person to end it all. And in all honestly, I know what it’s like to be TIRED; I mean soul-level-tired! You see, it was less than 6 years ago that I healed my life from a life-altering bout with depression. Before then, there was a real part of me that still subscribed to the less than tolerant, “Snap out of it!! Get over it!! Don’t you have faith in God!!?” ignorant and rigid mentality.
Depression is COMPLETELY Normal. Depression is NOT normal.
Yes, depression is normal. In fact, it dates back to the Biblical days of David and Moses who BOTH had bouts with depression. Sometimes, depression is so subtle that as one of my coaching clients reminded me recently, we don’t even realize that we were depressed until we are on the other side. When the lights of our soul come back on, we see just how far we drifted from ourselves. Set-backs, betrayal, relationship pain, and anything associated with loss can trigger depression, as it is one of what Psychologists term: “The 5 Stages of Grief.” And yet, TIME is what determines whether depression is healthy or not. So if you, like me years ago, find yourself STUCK for too long in unhealthy thought patterns that leave you debilitated, isolated and paralyzed from living a normal, healthy, day to day life, seek help. Too often shame, which is another profound emotional trigger, causes us to isolate ourselves when we need help the most. As for those of us who come from a traditional Christian background, we may face another layer of religious shame because like my less than intelligent days of screaming: “Get over it!” to depressed people, we often categorize people who struggle with mental illness as being “weak or lacking faith.” As time goes on, depression becomes chemical and physical. It’s often not something you can “pray away.” Therapy, medication, professional help and seeking lay-counsel all may help; so, seeking that help is NOT optional. It is mandatory. We do not deserve to suffer.
Self-Compassion to Recover Our Lives
We often rush our healing and are LESS than compassionate with ourselves when it comes to emotional trauma and pain. Would you be patient with yourself after a heart-attack? How about after a stroke, as you regained strength, motion, and mobility? Likewise, a wise, whole woman will create a safe place within her own heart to heal completely. Compassion is needed. Healing has many layers. We are worthy of showing ourselves love and kindness when we need it the most.
One of my favorite quotes is by bestselling Japanese author Haruki Murakami and it states:
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”
Depression is self-suffering. Depression blinds us from truth. My heart breaks to think about what heights of suffering Robin Williams must have faced in those final hours and moments. I hate the thought of human beings suffering. Unfortunately as a society, we often downplay mental struggles; yet, depression is real. It is a profound dis-ease of the mind, body and soul and it must be treated with the same diligence with which we would approach a life-threatening disease; after all, doesn’t prolonged emotional pain threaten our lives? I read in an article recently that Robin Williams had many regrets on how he lived his life. Maybe he struggled with replaying old mental images, painful memories, events, and losses that he couldn’t erase from his mind. I know how that feels. Do you?
The reason I am SO passionate about emotional mastery is because without it there is no WHOLE life. There is no true freedom without residing daily in authority over our thought lives. This is no easy task. Self-mastery is a life-time goal.
And while we are human and will always experience set-backs and even sorrow, when we are whole, healthy and healed, we begin to outright refuse to self-suffer. I believe worthiness teaches us that we do not deserve to suffer. We deserve better. As I was recovering from my depression and rebuilding a life anchored in peace, calm, abundance and joy, I would place my hands over my chest and repeat this Buddhist mantra to myself daily:
• May I be free from suffering.
• May I be happy.
• May I be healthy.
• May I be wealthy.
• May I be at peace.”
On certain days, the pain was so profound that all I could mutter was: “May I be free from suffering.”
Nobody wants to suffer. We ALL want to experience a life of happiness, joy and fulfillment; and this is our birthright. Yet, most women I engage with are familiar with depression. Maybe our places of worship and friendship circles have not created a safe place to honestly express this, but most of us can say, “I’ve been there.”
Over the next few days and weeks, I’ll be exploring the topic of mental, emotional and physical health much more. We have to live with ourselves; we cannot escape who we are. We spend more time with ourselves than with anyone else. And there is NO greater priority than our own sense of emotional wholeness and wellness.
I am beyond grateful to be on the other side of depression, and yet I am grateful for the pain. I am grateful for my “dark night of the soul. It was the birthing ground of my calling. I vowed to God that once I recovered from that season I would use my journey, my healing lessons, and my Divine insight into the area of wholeness to empower other women and people. I’ve spent my days since then doing just that.
My heart is healing from the loss of Robin Williams, so I’ve had some sad moments this week; but, I’m ok with that. Wholeness makes us strong enough to experience ALL of what it means to be human: dark, light, good, bad, up, down, happy, and sad. No judgment. Self-acceptance is the pathway to healing.
My heart goes out to Robin Williams’ family; my heart goes out to him. I am grateful for the laughter, joy and beauty his life gave to us. There will never be another rich smile or laugh like his; and yet, for us, life goes on.
I am determined that MY life will go on free of self-suffering and self-inflicted pain. I hope you’ll join me in the mission to live WHOLE, to live free and to live fully! YOU deserve nothing less.
Although this article is directed towards women, of course men suffer profoundly with depression as well. One quick glance at history, or even in our own friendship circles and families, reveals that. But I wanted to speak to women, as we tend to be harder on ourselves (and unfortunately at times, other women). So, the next time you encounter another woman, smile at her and send her love because you NEVER know what is happening in her heart. We judge people by their public image, but God sees their private pain. And that’s exactly why I love God because just like the Hymn says: “He looks beyond the flaw and sees the need.”
Ultimately, Robin Williams had a profound NEED. We all do. Nobody wants to suffer. We all desire happiness, significance, safety, connection and most of all… love. R.I.P. Robin Williams; may Divine love cover and comfort all those who loved you.
Thank you for reading this! Please share your thoughts and know that I love you, I appreciate you, and I’m on the wholeness journey with you!
Blessings and Much love,
In summer months, things SPEED Up. Way up! If we’re not careful the entire season may pass and we will look up only to realize we never took the time to deliberately engage in self-care. We may find ourselves doing so much for other people— running the kids all over the place, attending one event after the other, staying up late, eating junk food, internet surfing, yet still neglecting, true times of heart-rest, spiritual reflection, and the centered, calm-energy nurtured by periodic times of soul-sabbatical.
If anybody knows how to live revved up on stress and adrenaline it’s me! Years ago, my life was non-stop, over the top and OUT of ORDER! My call to “ordering my private world” came when one of my spiritual mentors, P. Bunny Wilson said to me is: “Shannon, you’ve become so good at doing you’ve forgotten how to simply BE. — Wow! Her words were both Divine correction, and a sacred invitation to begin the journey towards the life that I now lead and cherish; a life marked by soul-ease, self-care and centered wholeness.
What about you?
• Do you find yourself waking up checking texts and emails before you even roll out of bed?
• Do you find yourself staying up late, waking up tired, and not feeling your radiance? Energy?
• Do you feel like more people NEED you and yet there’s less of you to go around?
You are NOT alone. We are busier than ever before in history, and although demands for our attention and time have INCREASED, our capacity to meet the demands have not.
I love the wisdom that reminds us: We cannot give what we do not possess. We cannot offer what we don’t first embrace…
So that brings me to my question: In this ramped up 24-hour world, are YOU taking care of YOU? Are you giving yourself the time to RELAX…SLOW DOWN and simply “BE?”
Never underestimate the power of ME time…
Many years ago, my mother lost a dear friend. My mother’s friend was only 34- years-old when she passed. I’ll never forget my mother’s words after Nina’s funeral: “Nina was always there for everyone, she was the glue that held everyone together, and it breaks my heart that super-women die young.” Wow! I couldn’t have been more than 22-years- old at that time, but I’ll never forget those words: “Superwomen die young.” With the increasing demands for our time, our resources, our energy, being INTENTIONAL about “me” time is not selfish, far from it, it is life-saving, and it is wise.
It’s time for Soul Sabbatical
Last year, I had the honor of teaching a LIVE 4-week virtual online course centered around self-care and intentional inner-healing called: Soul Sabbatical. During the sessions, my clients kept asking about meditation, so I recorded a mindful meditation and self-calming training called: “The HOUR of POWER.”
The regular price for this audio is $89.00 — Today, I’d like to bless you with this training for free! I would love to “sow” into your season of intentional “ME” time and self-care. You are MORE than worth it.
It’s been many, many years since the life-changing words of: “learning how to BE” were spoken into my spirit, and over the past several years I’ve become extremely diligent about practicing a daily self-care routine and living the sacred principles of Soul Sabbatical. There is nothing I value more than clarity, wholeness and peace, and ALL are “inside-jobs.” When we invest in our own well-being first, everything in our lives changes for the better.
If you’d like to receive the complimentary HOUR OF POWER Mindful Meditation & Self Calming Audio Training, just CLICK HERE: – Enter Your email and immediately CHECK your “POP-UP” window for “Thank You” and INSTANT access , and you’ll be on your way to intentional soul-care, spiritual renewal and focused “ME” time…
There’s nothing wrong with slowing down— actually when we do, we get there FASTER!
Remember, what we are seeking is already seeking us: Before we call, God answers. Cast your cares on God. Take a DEEP breath, place your hands over your chest and repeat after me: “Relax. Allow. Receive.”
Simply CLICK HERE to enter your email, and you will have access to this sacred Soul Sabbatical Meditation audio INSTANTLY (check your computer for Pop-up window)
Blessings and Much love,
|Date:||July 2, 2014|
|Event:||Confessions of a CALLED WOMAN|